Memory Lane:  Part 1

"I was born in 1952, an only child if you don't count my elder sister.  I have to admit that my first year on Earth was rather fruitless as all I did was lay around snoozing, sucking from a bottle and soiling my diapers.  Looking back, now 47 years old, not much has changed, except that now I smoke cigarettes.

My mother, Eileen, is long since departed this Earth.  My earliest memory of her was when she would wrap me up warm and take me to the local market and try to sell me to buy firewood.  Three weeks of this and no takers, I recall.  Well, I can't blame the shoppers, for my skills at that age (maybe 2 years old) were limited to some drooling, burping, and sucking on people's fingers. Then my mother hit upon the idea of giving coupons with the purchase.....15% off the next- born (which would be my sister Joyce in 1956)

Even that didn't work, so there was nothing for it but to keep me at home and try to raise me as best she could.  The firewood proved not to be a problem, for my dad was promoted to first mate on a cargo ship, carrying coal between England and Belfast, and he was allowed to take samples home.  Taking full advantage, he left aside his briefcase with its charts, sextants, and Guinness bottles, and instead took a wheelbarrow to work from that point be continued...

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